How to Join the Australasian Order of Old Bastards

WHAT IS THE OLD BASTARDS? Day by day enquiries pour in from all States and from overseas, what is the OB’s and what do we stand for. In brief, this Order is dedicated to joviality and good fellowship, and raising money for charity. Our Watchword might very well be:- “WHILST EVER HOPS GROW ON THIS EARTH. LET NOT PLAIN WATER MAR OUR MIRTH.”

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Membership qualifications are quite simple and demand only adherence to five elementary rules. Rule 1. Marital status of parents (not-withstanding our glorious name), is irrelevant. Rule 2. It is sufficient to have been acclaimed at least once by friends as an .........Old Bastard (and what man worth his salt hasn't’t, despite his actual age). Rule 3. Members must be jovial and hearty at all times (Which includes shouting in ..........your turn, otherwise you will earn the reputation of being a stingy old bastard). Rule 4. On encountering other OB’s one must administer a hearty slap on the back, ..........accompanied by the cheerful salutation, "Hello, you old bastard". (Some intrepid ..........OB’s feel that a gentle hearty slap would suffice). Rule 5. Membership card or Badge must be carried on the person at all times. Failure to ..........produce same when challenged by another OB incurs a penalty of one round of ..........drinks for the table - not the bar. (Be especially careful when getting out of the ..........bath to answer the doorbell. Unwary OB’s have been trapped like that before). If you sincerely feel you can live up to these conditions and henceforth be known as a Good Old Bastard only one thing more is required.

 

Please print this page and submit to

A.O.O.B

PO BOX 2686
Southport Q 4215
Australia

Print membership form

AOOB MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM NOMINATIONS: $15.00(Aust) Membership Card + Key Ring Badge Extra Key Ring Badge $5.00 each NAME Mr./Mrs./Ms./__________________________________ ADDRESS: ________________________________________ _______________________________Postcode___________ Email: ____________________________________________ NOMINATED BY:____________________________________ SECONDED BY:____________________________________ Enclosed my payment of $_____________________________ Replacement Cards $10,00(Original No. must be quoted) Payment by direct deposit, if using this form of payment please include receipt. Account: Australasia Order of Old Bastards, BSB: 484 799 Account No: 051419072

If you would like to donate to the Australasian Order of Old Bastards Please fill out details below. Donations over $2.00 are tax deductable Enclosed is my cheque/money order for $_____________________________________ Sorry we do not accept card payment PLEASE POST RECEIPT IF REQUIRED TO:_____________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________